Sunday, November 19, 2017

Tricks Treats & Zombies: Halloween Tales of the Living Dead

Hello anthology! No forward? Ok, let's just get right into it!

Zombie Moon- Eric A. Shelman kicks things off with the zombie outbreak starting in Florida. Martin starts his evening with his daughter waxing poetic about the moon. He ends his evening on a boat contemplating a question from his daughter- Is it wrong to love the stars and hate the moon? The undead are going to make that very hard to answer.

247- Aria Michaels's Mia just wants to help her friend Emily get home safely from a party. Too bad the undead have other ideas.

Hair of the Dog- Chris Philbrook presents a town's Halloween tradition. From the outsider's perspective, the practice sounds insane, but the greater good must prevail.

Salvation- Katy Walker gives a sample of what's likely to happen when it all goes to hell- sacrifice some to save others. Doesn't matter who, if you're in the unlucky spot, you're being deserted for zombie chow. May doesn't see it that way and she's decided to hell with that decision.

Ding Dong Ditch- Jay Wilburn has a story full of repeat jokes about mothers. When the world goes to hell, you have to keep a sense of humor. Especially when the wildlife appears during your salvage run.

Daykeeper- P. Mark DeBryan shows how the ancients will get annoyed with us and bring about the end. Who knew mastering Halloween had so many catches?

Zombees- Laurie Mault reminds us it's not just tainted meat or random viruses that can bring about the end via zombie. Sometimes Mother Nature finds a way through tiny flying soldiers.

Trick or Treat- James Dean is out celebrating Halloween with family. People in the neighborhood are being stingy, but eventually they get a sweet juicy treat they can share with friends.

The Bad Ones- Richard Correll's entry is about Kate. Kate is trying to survive in what the world has become. It's not just the zombies you have to watch out for you know.

The Last First Date- Amy Bartelloni provides a glimpse into a world where things are a little under control and people are trying to live. Problem is some people are just too stuck on what they had before and are willing to go to any lengths to have it, regardless of the danger it poses.

The Skeleton- John Moralee has Eric experience the worst morning of his life- hungover zombie Catwoman.

Two Weeks- Brea Behn introduces us to Colton. He's lost everything and before he can be "safe," he has to survive until Halloween. Doesn't matter if you've been bitten or not, you're subjected to a warped version of a two week's notice.

Zomcow- William Bebb goes old school with a church festival, complete with homemade treats. And zombies. And kids who think they might be mistaken for cows.

Isla De Muerta- Shannon Walters has trouble in paradise. The dead are washing up on shore and taking out the tourists. Dawn is there, wishing for some company that doesn't need to be dispatched on arrival.

Boot Hill- Bethany Hagardt wants to show how important family is when it comes to the undead. Sure, you're trying to build a career so you don't have to rely on nepotism, but when it comes down to it, family needs to take care of family.

The Devil's Box- DD VanGarde presents their story in two parts. Death's personification is kept in a box and is treated as a trinket for those who enjoy the ancient and the macabre. Naturally, humanity is careless when it comes to a demented Jack in the Box, so bring on all the death!

Pennies- Suzanne Olsen-Casey offers the question of what happens when someone who hears the dead stops hearing anything.

The Room- Jeffrey Clare wraps things up with random red typeface in the story (thanks Kindle, now I can't unsee that). Adam finds himself trapped in a room, which is nothing more than a glorified test of survival.

Great collection of stories! Plenty of glore to adore in this anthology!

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

Tales from the Zombie Road: The Long Haul Anthology

This anthology was created to share zombie stories, art, poetry, and provide support to the Wounded Warriors Project.

The forward explains that people serving in the military are writing a blank check with their lives in order to provide us with the freedoms that we sometimes take for granted. The anthology was created to entertain and to give a little something back to those who are selflessly putting their lives on the line for others.

Due to the uniqueness of this collection, I'm doing things a little different with the randomness I usually apply to anthologies. So bear with me and awaaaaay we go!

The first entry in this anthology is actually NYC after the fall has occurred. I'm not going to lie though- before I realized what was going on, I thought the zombie was driving (and if that ever happens, we're all doomed).

Alone Together- David A. Simpson starts the stories off with comparing zombies to lemmings (not as awesome as weaponized monkey anger, but I'm digging it). The government is going to rebuild in Oklahoma (bwah?!), but these survivors won't be making it there.

Now we have a picture of a zombie missing most of the top of their head. Almost as if they had a bad toupee before it all went to hell.......

Meet Gunny. He's got an armored truck and just wants to get home.

A Family Matter- Phoebe Jackson shows the despair that happens after being cut off from everyone and everything. Not being able to relax. Not being able to do anything without having to constantly watch over your shoulder. Not being able to accept not knowing and moving on.

Zombie corpse bride! Classic!

All In A Day's Work- Rich Restucci has a zombie outbreak happening in an office building. Here a whack, there a whack, everywhere a whack whack. Don't eat anything from the coffee shop though.

A zombie with suspenders? Snazzy!

Meet Cobb. He runs a truck stop in his own way.....that doesn't interfere with his wife.......

Brokedown- Tony Urban proves children can be little monsters when riding buses. The wheels on the bus aren't doing a damn thing, so we're getting around town on foot.

Hey zombie! You're missing a shoe! Eh, like you care.

Meet Bridget. Traded beauty products for bullets.

Carnival of Carnage- Ricky Fleet has hell happening at a meet and greet. Probably would have been better off stuck in traffic.

Ooo, zombie clown!

This picture depicts zombies learning people who shoot and drive are just as dangerous as people who text and drive.

Catch-A-Zombie- Greg Bennett shows new job prospects during the zombie apocalypse.

Generic Zombie is generic.

Meet Griz. Griz isn't Mr. Happy.

Condemned- Christopher Artinian has zombie flambe. Now, how did the floor catch on fire because no one wanted to see that ************ burn. Burn ************ burn.

Saw Zombie! Literally!

Dead Land- Ann Riley gives a new take on convoys. Ladies and gentlemen zombies, do not touch the large machinery. It's very ouchie.

Mailman Zombie is very bad at his job.

Sammy has a souped up zombie mobile!

[Poetry Interlude!]

Crazy Cat Lady Zombie.....sans cats.......

Zombies leave handprints that will just destroy your cleaning supply budget.

Freaked Out Zombies- Lori Safranek has a nice little interlude where people meet people, spend time with people and leave with people.

Hooker Zombie!

Meet Josephine. Vroom vroom!

Hunted in the Hills- T.D. Ricketts has the opening days of the end with a camping trip and bacon.

Trucker Zombie!

Meet Hollywood. Don't judge books by their covers.

John the Bastard- Greg Bennett is back! Zombies are closing in, but John has to get wine for the dinner party.

Meet Kim-Li. She likes to make smiley faces.

Mother's Day Behind The Quarantine Fence- Roma Gray's Tommy wants to see his mom and have her see him. She just wants to eat the flowers.

Happy Zombie Girl with her teddy bear!

The Operating System Mythos- Michael Peirce hands us a tiny tidbit where the end comes via a disagreement between operating systems. Completely viable!

Leena the Zombie Killer- T.D. Ricketts is back with an origin story.

Eye poppin zombie!

Over for Dylan- Pam Kelly Fields spells it out pretty clearly in this story morsel.

Afro Zombie?

Sweetie- Pam Kelly Fields is back with another morsel about why you shouldn't stop and help mangled people.

My Cup of Tea- Valerie Lioudis pretty much proves that people with little to no social conscience will be the only ones really enjoying the beginning of the end.

Schoolgirl Zombie!

Sgt Joan- Greg Bennett is back once again! This time it's a mission gone wrong. Don't know what's left, but hope is there.

Meet Scratch. Zombies, meet his left hand.

"Sparky"- Grivante's stoners use a boombox and garage in a pretty clever way.

Once a well dressed man, now an untucked zombie.

Meet Stabby. Rock star goes slashie slashie.

The Glass City Escape- Phoebe Jackson and Emily Stiver have a convoy dealing with an idiot.

The Highlander- W.J. Watt isn't talking about the "there can be only one!" guy. More like the "there is going to be one less!" guy.

Student zombie comes complete with backpack!

The Midland Crew- Emily Stiver brings the convoy to blow the hell out of zombies created via tainted pork products.

Nurse Zombie! Don't let her draw blood!

The Prison- R.L. Chambers has people trying to start over in a prison, but you really need to stay away from certain areas. Just let them rot.

Police Zombie! Speed away!

Meet Casey. He has low morals.

The Vegan- Cody Mann's survivor is so happy they were trying to impress their neighbor since they avoided their neighbor's fate.

Hoodie Zombie is having some issues.

Trucker's Dilemma- Michael Peirce is back! And guess what? High maintenance bitches are the first ones to go!

Punk rock zombie wants a high five!

Trucking In Pink- Alina Ionescu's survivor is hiding in a fast food bathroom before finally deciding to make their stand. And they bring along Wendy'

Summer camp zombie?

Long Dawg and their car.

Meet Jessie. Jessie has a nice puppy and a spiky car.

Scarecrows- David A. Simpson is back! Jessie is making a living as a retriever in the apocalypse when he meets a survivor that found an interesting use for the undead.

Mini comic featuring the scarecrows!

The Allergy Snow- Alina Ionescu has a tiny morsel featuring POPPIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And now we have a bunch of tiny morsels to wrap things up! Jason Heckler, Cassie Eisenschenk, Michael Benicek, Joan Macleod, Louise Feagans, Phyl Lamattina, Alison Pridie, and Amy Marler Bowles all provided tiny tastes featuring the following: truck, zombies, chocolate, and moonshine. The results are fascinating with some entries inducing giggles.

Runner zombie has ear buds.

Thanks for tuning in to this anthology. Not only are the proceeds going to a good cause, the editor of the anthology reminds us to stay safe and avoid being hit by buses, because that would be painful.

Monday, November 6, 2017

Brats In Hell

Yep, you read that title correctly. Frank Elder is back with his brand of wackiness in the story "Brats In Hell."

So how to brats factor into Hell? It's how Satan keeps the locals under control, so the author is pretty much spelling out that Hell is someplace in Wisconsin. Although with the weather there, that wouldn't make much sense.......unless Hell freezes over on a regular basis to ensure storage for all those brats.

The story itself centers around Otto Van Der Noodle, who is murdered just as he receives the honor of being a brat king. By a frozen brat no less. His opponent, Billy Bunns, snaps and decides that Otto needs to be dead. The police kindly explain with guns that Billy made a bad choice.

Billy uses his brand of douchbaggery to get Otto sent to Hell while he bum rushes his way into Heaven. Oddly enough, Otto gets the better end of the deal in this situation, especially after he gets his brats going.

Now before you go thinking that Otto takes over Hell with his brats, well you're partially right. Now shut up smartass, you're making me lose my train of thought.

See, folks aren't happy with how Satan has been running things. He's upset the natural order of things for a new toy and shoots down the idea of adding another level of Hell to make room for people who overshare memes with grammatical errors and other cringe inducing troll activities.

The original heir to the throne of Hell decides enough is enough and with Otto's help, plans to overthrow the traditions that have been running around and replace it with something that might make a little more sense. So now we have the War of the Brats in Hell.

Going into things any more would result in ruining the charm of what's going on, so just give the book a read and learn the power of love. And brat farts.